Loud & Clear by Clinton Young
Topic: Death penalty, death row, & those that fight for justice.
Date: Apri1:2Oth, 2017
(To make a correction/stash addition I forgot to do before mailing my last blog. I wrote about republicans being able to change constitution. I mean if they win more seats in this up coming elections in 2018. As with 2/3rds majority they can do whatever they want to. Death penalty got extra news due to all the executions that was scheduled then stayed. Short term solutions, to a much larger problem with the system. Though as long as we can all talk about easy topics like lethal injection drugs. Why focus on the harder topics- of prosecutor misconduct & layers misconduct J)
When it comes to the fight for justice with those locked up. Be it on death row or else where. It has often been the odd that gets attention. Such as the way media will do a story on a woman that wants to marry a violent offender. Then to cheapen the overall debate, other women get cast under such a light. This topic came up with a friend.
Okay, what about the men? So all the women have to be one of those women’. I guess the men have to be what? Rational beings in the pursuit of justice? If a man attempts to cast all women through a single lens. I think there is some name for that, What do they call that? Oh, yeah thats right. Sexist! In their dualistic simple black or white thought process. They see how I look & automatically assume that has to be some kind of sexual attraction. So women are such simple beings, that such is the only option? What about lesbians that write me? Forgive me , that I do not see it that way. Though maybe it is just that the guy that thinks that way is protecting. Maybe it is him having these thoughts. Aw, you are attracted to me? Aw, thats cute. While I would not want to impose on your lifestyle. I got- to let ya down. As I am all about the ladies. I really really really love women. They are just so wonderful.
Or maybe it is some men are so insecure, they feel threatened by me, so they have to attempt to shame others away. I understand that my comparative/analytical thought process tied in with a wealth of knowledge . That this can be intimidating. Or maybe you heard of the unofficial motto of Texas ” Everythings bigger in Texas” Maybe you don’t realize this is due to the vast size of the state & think it to mean some form of phallic representation. I mean…Alright, I will stay away from that one. Haha.
I can just imagine some that know my sense of humor, sitting there thinking. “Please Clinton, dont go there!” 🙂 ha. Hey , I am just trying-to help these insecure dudes. That try to paint all women with such a brush as they do.
Seriously though. If I was mentally retarded & physically deformed. Then would not be such a thought. So basically due to how I look, I am not allowed a free group of people to fight for my LIFE!! I am supposed to just be at the mercy of the government & die for some-shit I didnt do? No one is supposed to be moved by the ‘situation?’ True there is some people that write to prisoners for an objectified reason. Though what I have noticed is how they come about -writing is the indicator. While not absolute & I surely would not say every person is this way. As many people just like the idea of writing & most that are free do not have the time or desire to do. Everyone does everything with email & text. What I noticed from most that wrote me from seing “media stories” on me. It is the shock of the situation. Not some rooted desire for something odd. Yet when the topic comes up & is debated in public forum for example. Dudes ALWAYS go there. Stupid fuckin idiots. It is really more of a show as to the way THAT guy thinks, versus the person writing.
It is not like I am Trick Daddy. Tthe rapper ,”My name alone been known to break up a happy home.” Ha/ Thats a rap lyric.
However with the new film coming out. I want to give guys a warning. I got to see some stills from the film. There is a part from during the summer when I had been out in the sun a great deal. My beard is lookin allperfectly sculpted. I’m dark & it makesamy eyes stand out more. Hair slicked back. I had been working out abunch. So had a bit of my size back. LOOK, now here is what ya do. Get the TV remote & remove the back. get one of the batteries a bit lose. 5o when it gets to that part, you can ‘accidently’ change the channel & then drop the remote so the battery falls out. Then you can fumble around with it for a bit, so as to buy some time for that part to pass. You DONT want her seing that part. Im trying to help ya out. As you have established that women are simple creatures. That are unable to grasp concepts such as empathy, sympathy, & a sense of justice. Long sigh. The sad part is you get to vote & have a say in things like public policy. 🙁
Now what really gets me is the women that want to get involved & want to write. Though they are afraid of what others will say. I am glad that some other women was not like that. Such as you know Mary, Joan of Arc, Dprah, Jessica, Rosa Parks, that little girl was shot by the taliban for going to school, Sabatina James, & etc. It does always amaze me at how worried such can be about what another thinks here in the west.
You got little girls in Indonesia getting their genatelia mutilated, baby girls forced to be married in Yemen, stoned in Syria, sold in Iraq. Yet your feminine nature ends at what another thinks? I write about all of this , as it comes up anytime a woman is attempting to spread word about my case. Though it is more then just about me & my case. It’s to a bigger point in life. I am here on death row. I have a very limited ability to live any kind of life. I am totally dependant on others. You got one life to live. Do not allow someones opinion to keep you from striving for what you want. Fear is a concept that is more often then not constructed upon a baseless thought or feelings. If it comes to what another thinks. People have their own fears, mental illness, insecurities, jealousy & etc. Sometimes we build up people based on an idea. The reality is they often fail to measure up.
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People get amazed by stars. Guess what? Stars fall! They burn up. If you believe in it, fight for it.
People always see me as being this super strong person. Strength does not mean that I do not feel anything such as pain. Doesnt mean that I do not get knocked down. What if I told you that I thought of killing myself before? What if I mentioned there was a time where I thought of it every day. People would maybe not be-super shocked. It’s a hard situation & I have went through some hard times. What if I told you These thoughts was just a couple weeks ago? It is not about the difficulty of this place. Its about the uncertain waiting.
The way I have to keep asking for help. The way some people say one thing & do another. (Don’t be confused, I have some great people in my life) After I quit blogging, you know how much was donated to the dutch account? 10 euros a month. With another donating here & there. Thats why I became so against publishing my book. I am not selling my pain & struggles.
Though what weighed on me so much, was how for so long everything has been a fight. Its not the system so much as it is my lawyers & some people in my life. Its a fuckin struggle just to get someone to tell me they made it home safe after visiting. My uncle died. I found out from Jessie, who is not even related to him. Never seen him. She came to visit & said ” ohH, did you know Tony died?’ Well no I fuckin didnt. Hadnt seen him in a long time. Wasnt close to- him or anything. It is still the fact though. Some people I dont hear from . Others because they do not hear from me, stop doing certain things. I guess I am not supposed to have down moments. Then my lawyers. I could already be on my way to having an idea of what will happen, with appeals filed. Though they want to wait on the prosecutor. Never mind what the fuck I go through every day. So I just languish here in this fuckin place. I really widsh they would have given me an execution date. I mean. That with everything in me! Not because I would be executed. Hell no. I would get a stay, but it would force the appeals to be done quickly.
If back in May 2016 they had set a date. I would have a ruling by the court already! Yet here the fuck I am, waiting on- waiting.
What gets me is the fact that they feel some kinded right to hold off. Like I have no right to whets going on in my life! It is like everything has to be a fucking struggle. I just want some peace. Thats all I want is some peace. People do not see the pain I go through, as life has taught me to channel it into anger. I am so tired of being angry.
We all face barriers in life. Dont fear the barrier. Dont fear getting knocked down. The only thing to fear is when you lose the desire to get back up. The only thing special about me is that as long as I am breathing. I am always going to fight back. People are always going to attack what you do. You will always get knocked down. What matters is that you believe in what you do & that you always get back up. It is okay to hurt, worry, feel a bit lost. As long as you keep putting one foot in front of the other.
You will find the way.
Even God weeps.
Veni vidi vici
Clinton Young #999447
Polunsky Unit
3872 FM 350 South
Livingston, TX 77351
USA
P.5 Blog extention.
This morning I mailed off blog to be posted & then couple hours later I recieved legal mail, from my lawyers.
Turns out they have been pressing the issue, plus working on everything. Also the DA refused to allow me to do some additional testing. They will leave it to the court to decide. Which is better then-nothing. As now the fight begins. I feel WAY BETTER!
I couldnt stand still after reading the letter. As now I have something to fight. The sitting here with the unknown was pure hell for me.
I want to be clear, I have great lawyers that care deeply for me. We have a different philosophy about how to approach the fight. They naturally feel it is best to not stir the water. Me, I say flip the damn boat. First one to shore wins! 🙂
The sitting here with almost a month of silence from them. It created a void that allowed doubt to creep in. I have been fucked over by lawyers so bad in the past. I just do not trust people. One starts to expect it. It is a lesson I guess. Try to have more faith in people.
Also for you all in the free. Never just assume everything is okay. I often gain energy from those in my life. There is people in my life that can totally flip my mood.
Another point for those here in Texas.
PLEASE if you are from Texas. Reach out to the politicians that represent your district in the Texas house & senate.
The ones in Austin Texas, not DC. Tell them to support House Bill 316 Which will end the law of parties. Tell them no one should be executed, when they have not killed anyone. DO NOT make an anti death penalty remark. Keep it on point. Just say you think it is
- A) against sound morals to kill a person who has never killed anyone. &
- B) a sin. Doesnt matter if you are religious are not.
Ask others to also call & email. Speak about the matter at church & etc, give the info out & say that the state should not be killing
those who have never killed anyone. The law of parties needs to end. Classmates & etc. It doesnt matter your age. Try to get 5 people
to call & email.
Next-An idea I have, hopefully can gain enough help to wage a proper campaign here in Texas. I got a several point plan about ways to gain attention to my case here. The mailings, billboards, media ads & etc. Sitting on my ass doing nothing. That I cannot do. That is just horrible & depressing for me. Fighting? That I can do!
Fighting for my life. Yeah I can do that all day.
It is crazy. Hours ago I was so depressed. Then I get a letter saying they will leave it up to court. ie, fight on it. It is like new life has surged through me. Now glad that things are moving along. Everyone is going to discuss filing dates. So then I will have a time line.
Trying to get some other things sorted will post about it. Alrighty gots to go.
Clinton Young #999447
WHEN WRITING TO ME, PLEASE MAKE SURE MY NAME AND THE #999447 IS CLEARLY WRITTEN ON THE ENVELOPE. I ALWAYS REQUEST PEOPLE TO WRITE YOUNG AND 447 IN RED INK WITH REMAINING PORTIONS OF NAME, NUMBER, AND ADDRESS IN BLACK OR BLUE INK. REASON IS LAST NAME AND THE 447 ARE THE MOST VITAL FOR IDENTIFICATION HERE. HELPS TO STAND OUT WITH BEING IN RED INK. REDUCES HUMAN ERROR. MORE SO WITH MY BEING THE ONLY ONE WHO DOES THAT HERE.